Raque said, "... i have been on the bringe of returning (about 6/7 times over the space of 16 years) "
I wonder if each one of those times you were worried that Armageddon was "SO close" and yet 16 years have gone by, and >nothing<.
Remember 1914? "Pastor" Russell originally predicted that in that year the Theocracy would be fully in charge of the Paradise Earth. He kept having to change his predictions because, as the Monty Python skit puts it, "SUDDENLY... nothing happened." And "nothing" is going to keep happening with each year the JWs pick.
Some suggest you read books by other XJWs. I'm going to suggest you DON'T read those books unless you want to. The reason why I say this is because you already know that The Watchtower Bible & Tract Society is a snare and a racket -- what else do you need to know?